“Dragon tales and the water is wide, Pirate’s sail and lost boys fly. Fish bite moonbeams every night…. And I love you.
The rocket racer’s all tuckered out, Superman’s in pajamas on the couch. Goodnight moon, we’ll find the mouse…..And I love you. Godspeed little man, sweet dreams little man.” -Dixie Chicks
Yesterday was little man’s last day in preschool. He’s come so far since he started 2 1/2 years ago. When he started he was mostly humming to try and communicate, followed by a temper tantrum because mom and dad couldn’t figure out what he was saying. Of course he could say momma, dad, yea, hot, and hi but beyond that it was hums. Now he is the worlds biggest chatter box. He’ll talk on the phone to his great grandma, papa, and grandma’s. He’s at the top of his class and to be honest at his last IEP meeting they said if he were to take the test he did when he first entered he would no longer qualify for an IEP. Which is amazing! They don’t want to test him just yet because of him starting kindergarten in the fall. They are afraid he may get overwhelmed and may take a few steps back. So it’s basically a security type thing to keep him on the right track.
We are so proud of where he is, but me personally I’m struggling with it a little. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe it’s because he’s growing up so fast and I’m not adjusting to that well. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s developed an attitude with me from time to time since he’s so confident in his speech now. Or maybe it’s the fact that I hear SOOOOO much of me coming out of his mouth which is terrifying in itself. I swear he uses my words against me on a daily basis. I want to get mad at him so bad when he does that crap, but how can I? For starters I’m trying like heck to not die laughing because once again the little turd was actually listening when I was talking to him, and secondly the attitude he puts behind it is me. Like the other day, he wanted to go outside. I don’t care if he goes outside by himself as long as I can see where he is. But if he goes out then his sister wants to go out and she’s not old enough to be out by herself or with her brother, it’s not his responsibility to keep an eye on her. I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen floor so I told him “let me finish up the floor and then we will go out.” Then I get “mom, tell me what I’m thinking?” WHAT! EXCUSE ME!? Grrr…….I stopped sweeping and looked at him with that look of I’m gonna knock you out, while he’s standing there with this shit eating grin. Hmmm I thought this wasn’t supposed to start till he is a teenager. So after we had a stare down and I fought back a laugh I told him “Bud, it doesn’t matter what your thinking at the moment. You can wait 5 minutes while I finish the floor and we can all go out together.” That ended the stand off and he went to get his shoes on. Then I laughed, to myself. I say that to him all the time. He’ll have toys all over the place and I’ll call him in to clean them up and I’ll look at all the toys then look at him and I get “what?” It sounds like what I used to squeak out when I would get “the look” from my mom, now I understand how irritating that phrase is. So usually I say “what do you think I’m going to say?” That is where he got the phrase above. My words are constantly coming back and biting me in the butt. Like when he’s putzin around and I tell him he’s gonna get hurt and then he does and I say “how’d that feel?” he usually says not very good, but then he stops. He has now started using that saying on his sister on a regular basis, oh it makes her mad.
So there’s been ups and downs to his confidence in his speech, more ups then downs though. He’s always polite, almost always says please and thank you. Says yes ma’am and sir, tries to help teach his sister how to talk, sometimes he talks for her a little too much. He can express his feelings so much better now and the things he comes up with for games he’ll play are never ending. Along with learning to speak better he’s began to learn something new, and he’s not a big fan of it……disappointment and heart break.
We have two kids that live down the road from us. Those two kids will see him out playing and want to come over and vice versa. So Monday night little dude wanted the little girl and boy to come over, I have no problem with his friends coming over so they came over. I told them that they all needed to take turns riding in the power wheels pick up and on the power wheels 4 wheeler and they needed to include the little one because she likes to ride in the pick up too. They all seemed fine with it and where getting along great until the little girl from across town came over. It was ok for a few minutes then all of a sudden things started going south. The two girls were riding the one girls bike and my son and the other little boy couldn’t because they weren’t big enough or know how to ride a bike without training wheels. The two girls were doing everything together and I could hear weren’t exactly being nice to the boys. I’m not fond of the second little girl that came over. Whenever she’s over she thinks she needs to boss little man around or follow the rules that my husband and I have set. The other day when the kids and this little girl were sitting in the little pickup they were listening to the radio in it. Our daughter is like me when it comes to the radio and tends to surf, so when the song the little girl was listening to was on and our daughter didn’t like it she went to turn it and the little girl slapped her hand away and made her cry. Momma bear was fixing to be unleashed but I held her back, went and asked what happened even though I watched it all unfold. When they told me what happened I told her that’s not acceptable. This is my kids’ house and their toys and if she can’t respect them then she doesn’t need to play at our house anymore. She didn’t like that answer in the least bit. She sat there and pouted for awhile. We’ve also said that when we are all outside there is no reason for her and my son to go in the house, it’s nice out you can play outside. She doesn’t like that rule either. There’s just something about this girl that doesn’t sit well with me, I have a bad feeling about her in the pit of my stomach. She’s the little girls I used to see in school when I was growing up, and if I was brave enough to hang out with them I’d land in the principals office sitting next to them or end up grounded. The disrespectful aspect of it may be a large reason why also, but my husband has a bad feeling about her too sooo……. And the other thing is this was the little girl that earlier this winter was picking on our son on the bus. Breaking pencils and throwing them at him, unzipping his backpack and dumping all his stuff on the floor and laughing at him as he picked it up. He came home that day just shattered. My husband took care of it by talking with her dad, but now you have a little more insight as to why I’m not her number 1 fan. I tried to give her a chance and the benefit of the doubt but with the last few times she’s been over and pulled some of the crap she has, my gut I think is right about her.
Anyway, my son was getting upset because these girls were leaving him out. I was working in the garden and he comes over with this look of total defeat. I asked him “what’s up dude?” “Mom they won’t play with me, they are leaving me out.” I knew this was going to be an issue. I told him to go play with the little boy and get to know him a little better. So he did for a little while then they both tried to play with the girls and they just wouldn’t have it, jumped on the bike and took off for the road. That’s when I put my foot down. I don’t care if they ride bike but not on that specific road. We’ve got pick ups that come flying down that road and aren’t paying attention, and semi’s that come barreling through there that have no concern for anything other then unloading that load of corn as fast as they can. I had told them twice to stay away from the road and that was the last straw. So I said it’s time for everyone to go home. You can’t follow the rules so it’s time to go. So the little girl that lives south of us tried to ride off to the other girls house, which I stopped. I told her if she wants to go to her other friends house she needs to go talk to her dad first. “No, he said I could go to her house once I was done here” mhm, these kids must think they are original or I’m dumb. So I told her “No, I was told to send you home when it was time to eat at our house, you need to go home and ask your dad before you go anywhere.” I know he heard me too because I saw him outside. Plus that will always be a rule with me. If you want to go to someone else’s house you need to either call your parent and let them know you are leaving my house and going to somewhere else or you need to go home and ask first. Sorry that’s the way I was raised and it worked. The rule was you call me when you leave and you call me when you get there. If you want to go somewhere else you call and ask permission first, so if it aint broke don’t fix it is my thought.
Once they left little man was so bummed. “Mom why did they do that to me? I thought they were my friends.” So I hugged him and told him this “Buddy, they are both 7, they are both girls, they are in the same class together so they are always going to hang out together and probably leave you out. It’s how these things tend to work.” Then I told him next time maybe he should just invite the little boy over, get to know him better since they are both boys, they are going to be in the same class together next year “and who knows bud you two might become best friends.” He liked that thought. Then he goes “next time the neighbor kids are over I don’t want her(the little girl across town) to come over.” So that told me he’s already starting to develop a dislike towards her, which honestly I’m ok with. She kind of shot herself in the foot there.
As a parent it’s difficult to watch your kids go through heart break, it’s also hard to tell them “no you can’t be friends with that person.” and I don’t think I ever want to be that parent, not at this age anyway. It was done to me in high school and I would rebel even more and want to hang out with that person even more. I’d lie about where I was, 9 times out of 10 I wasn’t where I was supposed to be and that was all because I was told she was a bad influence. Which may have been true, but I think I should’ve been given the chance to discover that on my own, which I later did. I understand she was trying to protect me, but at the age of 15-16 I think sometimes you gotta let them make their own discoveries. Maybe that thought will change when the kids hit that age. As of right now though, I’m not going to deprive him of playing with someone. He’s already slowly learning how she’s not a good person to be around. He doesn’t like being bossed around or some of the other things she is starting to do, especially take his friends away. So if I let this run it’s course I have a feeling she’ll do more harm to their friendship then good and he’ll say he doesn’t want to be friends. I hope he walked away from that situation realizing that yes you can have friends that are girls, but if there are two girls in a group at this age they are going to want to hang out together because they have more things in common. But if you have two boys that are friends in a group they will do the same, so I pray that he starts wanting to play with the little boy more and get to know him better and they can be good friends. I can’t pick his friends for him, but I can try to guide him in the right direction to make a friend that may in the end be better then the one he is currently claiming as his best. It’s one of many life’s lessons he’s going to have to learn and look to dad and I for some guidance.
-“God bless mommy and matchbox cars, God bless dad and thanks for the stars. God hears Amen wherever we are, and I love you. God speed little man Sweet dreams little man. Oh my love will fly, to you each night on angels wings Godspeed, sweat dreams.”