A couple years ago the Lord began something in my life that I had no idea was unfolding until about a few months ago, He’s always ending something and beginning something new which I’ve always been fully aware of. I just don’t realize sometimes that he’s the reason that it’s happening the way it is.
As I had said in my last post I had these walls surrounding my heart. Not just from love and men, but also for making friends and letting people in. Yes I would make acquaintances but I wouldn’t let them in and know much about me, my past or what is currently going on in my life, especially a decent amount of people at work. I’d been burned one too many times by people in my past that claimed to be my “friends”. Not only that there was enough drama circulating at work, mine really didn’t need to be added on. Yes they all kind of had an idea of what was happening with certain things but I was closed down to a lot of the true depth of things.
When I first started working at the veterinary clinic I was working at a year ago, not many knew much about me. There was the one technician who knew me because I went to school with her daughters. The other technician who knew my dad and step mom through my step sister. The assistant that I had previously worked with at a grocery store years earlier, and the other assistant that I graduated from high school with. Lastly the other technician that knew my cousin through school. Other then that not many people knew much about me. They knew I grew up in that town, that I was once a theatre major and was married and had one kid. I slowly opened up about certain things to some people that I felt I could trust, which I also was burned by some of them too. Anyway there was this one technician that, there was something different about her.
She was the technician that told me I was a good tech when I thought I was totally failing in the clinic. When I had my first animal die on the table during surgery she was the first one to hug me and tell me it was ok, and it happens to every technician. Through out my time the first couple months or so she and I picked on each other, whether it was scaring the crap out of me in the mare barn or me scaring the be-jesus out of her in the kennel room. I remember one day a bunch of us were sitting around waiting for some upcoming appointments and she came in from lunch and looked upset. No one followed her, so me being the person I am, I followed her. I asked what was wrong and she shared some medical issues she had going on. I oddly enough could relate to her because my husband had the same medical issue. So I went home and brought her some info that I had printed out for him a while ago and she was very grateful. There had been a few other times that we had been there for each other that our friendship was becoming a little stronger, as individuals outside the clinic and as co-workers. I knew I could ask her for help with anything when it came to work and she wouldn’t talk to me like I was dumb or give me that look like “really Jen you should know this.” There was something about her that was so different from everyone else, almost motherly, there was another tech that was very motherly also but this tech I just seemed to connect with deeper. I remember her saying one time when I was working at the same clinic as her”it’s like your my little chick, it’s good to have you back under my wing.” And it was. She guided me through a lot of struggles in the field. Crap man she saved me from almost killing a dog by giving it too much injectable anesthesia because I misunderstood the chart. She was there many times to bail my butt out, and teach me the RIGHT way to do it. She was always more then willing to help.
When I was pregnant with our daughter I was working at the large animal clinic a lot and she was at the small animal/ exotics clinic more. There was one technician that I really struggled working with because she would talk down to me, talk to me like I was dumb and point out every single mistake I made to me in front of everyone and their mom. So my confidence was lingering and my enjoyment of going to work was starting to diminish. I tried talking to an owner about it and all I got from him was “why don’t you take it as constructive criticism? You have a history of lashing out at co-workers so probably don’t want to do that anymore.” Really? I had a co-worker push me once and I try to defend myself and now I have a history of lashing out? Ok thanks for the help there Mr. owner and obviously Mr. none confrontational. She was making my life miserable at work and he didn’t seem to care at all. Just when I was on the verge of starting to look for another job and throw in the towel I received a text asking how I was doing from my friend/co-worker. So I told her I was miserable. I had come home every night for the last week crying, I didn’t want to be at work anymore. I told her I tried talking to an owner and they did nothing. She apologized and told me to keep my head up and she’d take care of it, and she did. I don’t know what she did and honestly it didn’t matter. She stepped up to the plate when nobody else did and she put an end to it. That was the day my trust in her was rock solid. I’d trusted her before but when she stepped up for me like that it meant a lot to me, it’d been awhile since I’d had someone that I’d only known for a short time stand up for me. I was placed at the small animal clinic until further notice. It was hard to give up large animal but it was a sacrifice I was ok making.
We worked together almost every day and she started to become part of my family. When I was getting closer to my due date I kept thinking to myself, what happens if I go into labor at work and can’t drive myself or have time to wait for my husband to load little man up and drive 15 minutes to the clinic to pick me up then the 15 minutes to the hospital? I don’t do well with pain. So my husband and I had discussed it and we both came to the conclusion that if that day happens and she was working she would be the one to take me and stay with me until he arrived. When I asked her she was so honored.
The crazy thing about all of this is I let her in those walls, which was not an easy thing to do, but I thought to myself take a chance. If you get hurt it won’t be the first time, but yea it will more then likely be the last. Well that chance was one of the best I took when it comes to gaining a friend. She has been more family to me in the last 2 1/2 years then some of my own. She hasn’t only been there for me, she’s been there for my husband and the kids. She loves my kids like they are her family and I am so thankful for her. We started to grow in Christ together too. I honestly don’t even remember how it started but it did and still does even though we are three hours apart. I tell her things I wouldn’t tell anyone other than my husband. The other half of this craziness is she was like me. Had walls up and doesn’t talk to many about what’s going on. But she trusts me enough to confide in me. We keep each others secrets and when things are hard we know we can count on the other to be there to help each other through it. We don’t just say we are there, we pray for each other all the time. She is literally my family through Christ, and I thank God for bringing her into my life a lot. I’m so thankful that he played such a huge part in this friendship. Before I left last year she gave me a gift, a frame that has a poem/saying in it that is sitting on my dresser and a necklace that says guardian angel on the front and has an angel and on the back it says “my own guardian angel”. I haven’t taken it off since the day I put it on.
I honestly believe if God wouldn’t have pushed us to let down our walls that each of us had up toward so many other people, we wouldn’t be the great friends we are now. She knows how much she means to me and I know how much I mean to her. Two people brought together because of God and him handing both of us a friendship that we will always treasure and that we both feel so blessed to have. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways and in this instance he worked some wonderful love and for that I am so thankful for. It’s a support system that I know will be there and at that time he saw that I needed and apparently so did she. I love you girl, but you already know that 😉
Have a blessed day my friends, and just think, ya never know how the Lord may be working in your life. It may be something you seriously need and aren’t aware of it or something you’ve been praying for. He’s always there working whether you think he is or not.