Thy Will be done

When we were packing up the truck the morning we left for Alabama I thought to myself, what if we were to get into a car accident on our way down there and the kids and dog survive but my husband and I don’t?  We don’t have it written anywhere about who is supposed to take them and take care of them after we are gone. We’ve talked to the individuals that are going to be their guardians if anything like that ever happens, but that’s not a legal binding thing and because of the people I have in my family I KNOW there would be a fight over it.  our son has God parents yes and naturally that’s who they are supposed to go to right?  Well, not with our kids.  One of his god parents hasn’t seen him in about 3 years, the other I have some major trust issues with now and the other two have split apart and live too far away from who the kids know and are comfortable with.  So I sat down at the table and wrote a couple of letters.  One to my cousin telling her if anything happens to take the letter on the next page to my dad and he will take care of everything.  Next was a letter saying who my husband and I want to take the kids and what to do with our assets and with the pets, yes I worry about my pets in that situation too. I know that wasn’t legally binding because technically it should be all in a will, but we don’t have one. I had to go with what I had.  After that I wrote a letter to my dad explaining everything in the other letter.  While I was writing it I just bawled.  It was hard for me to even think about not being there to raise our kids.  I don’t ever want them to have to bury us, not until they are A LOT older.  Also because we have nothing set in stone, if the situation were to present itself it would leave such a mess for our families to have to deal with and I just know there would be fights over who the kids went to.  Talk about reality coming up behind you and slapping you in the face.

I’d always known I should probably write a will in case that does happen, I just haven’t done it.  Irresponsible?  Some may think so, but really I’m scared to.  I’m scared that after it’s been all said and done and set in stone that something is going to happen to me.  Dumb? Probably but I am a worry wart remember?  It’s been on my mind ever since we got home.  Thanking God for getting us there and home safely and just keeping us safe on the entire trip is always something that should be done and I did.  But sometimes praying that you arrive places safely isn’t enough, there are idiots out there that don’t pay attention, don’t rest when they should and fall asleep at the wheel, and of course the retarded drunks that feel the need to go out and get tanked and drive.  With us having to travel long distances often, we are gambling every time we get in the car on whether we will be home later or not.  I know the chance of the kids walking away from an accident if their parents don’t is probably slim, but I don’t want to take that chance.  As parents having a will is one of those things that shouldn’t be over looked, and I need to stop doing it.  So I’ve been working on getting one drafted up, and I will take it in to have it notorized when I’m finished.  I learned there’s a difference between a Living Will and Last Will and Testament, didn’t have a clue they were different.  Hey I’m only 28 and still in the dark about certain things.  Like insurance, so don’t get it that’s why I let my husband look at it and dumb it down for me.  I should understand it because of the medical under my belt, but it’s so over my head even if I jumped it would miss me.  Anyway along with the will I was thinking about how the kids would take it if we did leave them behind.  our daughter probably wouldn’t really understand right now, I think our son would and he’d really struggle with it.  So to tie up everything I decided to write each of them a letter and also their guardians.  Writing those letters has been really emotional.  Like I said I don’t want them to ever have to bury us so young or not have us in their lives.  I want to be here to see my babies grow up and become amazing adults.  I know that they would be in the best hands once we were gone, but it still doesn’t make the hurt of knowing that my husband wouldn’t be able to walk our daughter down the isle like he’s supposed to, being there for her first break up or our son’s first break up or when he gets married is just heart breaking to even think about.  To be honest I don’t want to. Maybe that’s another reason why I’ve put this off for the last 6 years.  It hurts my heart to even think about it, but as a responsible and loving mother I need to.  It’s the right and smart thing to do.  Each letter is two and a half pages and tells them basically how much we love them and some of the things I want to teach them if I’m not there to do so.

When you bring these little lives in to the world you want nothing but to be there and protect them as long as you live, but what about after?  I want to ensure that they will be with the people my husband and I chose and I know will take such good care of them.  They will have a life that my husband and I would give them and they will be surrounded by love and laughs every day.  I won’t let them go to people who are reckless and irresponsible and that they don’t know.  I refuse to let that happen, isn’t it bad enough that they’d be loosing everything they knew?  So I will finish these wills and they will be set in stone.  A legal binding contract that no one but myself and my husband can alter.  It’s a small price to pay to guarantee that my babies are in the right hands and my wishes are carried out like I want them to be.

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